Apr 2, 20203 min read

Coronavirus Update - Day 20 and Counting...

Oh boy has it been another long day. We learned tonight, officially, that schoolwill notbe resuming for the rest of this school year, per the governor’s orders. I have known for awhile, in my heart, that this is how it would play out, but I tried to hold out hope. It’s almost incomprehensible, on so many levels. My mind will not allow me to fully accept this is happening. I feel more badly for the kids than I do for myself. This has been really tough for me, as a single mom of four children, but I am a warrior and there is little that daunts me. But I feel sad for them. Try as I may, I am not a teacher. I struggle to do the best I can everyday, but they will never get, here at home, what they do in school. I feel as though I short-change them everyday and that is hard. They miss their friends, their routine, the sunshine, playing in the school yard, their many extracurricular activities and all that we took for granted before all of THIS. I miss my own time too. I always had really productive and full days when they were at school, but no matter how busy those days were, I had peace and quiet in my home, for a good portion of the day. I needed that, in order to steel myself for the long afternoons and evenings spent shuttling kids to activities, helping with homework, making dinner, doing dishes, doing laundry, making lunches for the next day and getting four kids to bed (that in itself is no easy feat). Now, I don’t have any time to myself (except for my coveted morning walk) and I have no peace and no quiet. I am also growing increasingly behind, on everything. The bewitching hour, which seems to be about 3 in the afternoon, after we have been homeschooling for about 6 hours straight, now includes me as well. My patience runs dry and everything annoys me. It never fails that when I start to feel that way and look up the clock, it is always 3, on the dot. We usually have another hour of school work to push through at that point, so it is a struggle. We have a little reprieve when we go out on our walk, but even then, it can be tough. I have been mindful lately, while on our walks and have noticed that not 30 seconds passes, without someone saying “Mommy,” followed by a question or comment. And sometimes there are two or three of them doing that simultaneously. It’s challenging to categorize that as restorative, for me at least, although I think it is for them? After our walk, we head home for the true bewitching hour, which all parents know too well. Because things are off now , the kids' bedtime and wake-up time are off too. They seem to go bed at least an hour later than normal (sometimes two or more hours) and get up between an hour and two hours, later in the morning. That means that even once the day is done, I don’t get much downtime. I know we will survive this time, but it won’t be easy. The most important thing is that we stay healthy and safe. I have to keep my eye on that prize and try not to think more than a day or two ahead, if I am going to not only survive, but hopefully thrive during these long months ahead. I was able to pay my bills today; my family has food on the table; we live in a lovely neighborhood and home; I am not on the front lines fighting this beast, otherwise known as Covid 19; and we are all healthy (so far). I have so much to be grateful for. Stay safe and stay well!