As I write this, I have a pot of Caulifower Soup cooking on the stove. It looks and smells divine. It's a little hot for soup tonight, but it's COVID 19 and when you have ingredients to have use, you have to use them. So soup it is tonight.
Catherine and Miles keep running in and out of the room. They are playing good old fashioned hide-and-seek. It sounds a bit idyllic, doesn't it? I suppose it is, compared to some of the days I have had over the past two months of quarantine.
It's still hotter than you know what in the West Valley, but it only reached a high of 95 today, instead of 99. That's something to be grateful for in my book.
The really exciting news is that I got more done today than I have in the entire two months I have been locked in this house. I don't mean to dismiss the care I have been giving to my children over these long months of lockdown. The cooking, cleaning, helping with school work, and all the other jobs I have been doing and writing about. However, as I wrote in my post yesterday, there is only so much you can do for other people, for so long, without starting to feel resentful, even if they are your children. The desire to be selfish sometimes, or take care of one's self, if that sounds better, must be built into our DNA. Even moms.
I carried on today, in the vein of reclaiming some of my life back before all of our lives turned upside down and inside out, with the onset of the Coronavirus. I did things that I wanted and needed to do. It felt amazing and wonderful and I was a much better mom for it.
After my morning walk, I started back on the bathroom drawers that I had begun organizing yesterday. Miles and Catherine joined me in the bathroom, sitting on the floor with their computers and tablets. Shortly thereafter, Graham arrived. As I watched them working and giggling, I couldn't help but think of how adaptive they were. If the mountain will not come to Mohammed, Mohammed must go to the mountain. In other words, if Mommy is working in her bathroom, the classroom must come to the bathroom. At least for today, for a little while.
I finished the organizing project quickly. Unexpectedly, having the 3 kids there made getting through an unpleasant task, more pleasant, and had the added benefit of my being able to keep track of what they were doing. I felt a huge sense of accomplishment since I have been trying to get those drawers organized for three-long-years. That accomplishment, especially the middle of a pandemic, with four kids at home, was that much sweeter.
After I completed the drawers, I headed out to the garden. It was 95 by that time, but I was on a roll and I was not going to let a little heatwave stop my progress. While out in the garden, I hosed down the entire exterior of the house, cleaned out rain gutters, and finished pulling out about ten large plants with my new industrial-strength shovel. Miles joined me and helped out for a bit, which was lovely.
Around 1:30, I came in to check on the kids. None of them had eaten lunch. I felt guilty but then realized that if I am going to turn them into succulents, they are going to need to learn to be a little self-sufficient. Honestly, I think they would have starved before they would have thought to prepare something. I told them that the gardener was arriving shortly and I had to get these tasks done before he arrived, so that he could help me clean up. I suggested they make themselves some lunch and they did! It was miraculous. This was the first time, in two months, that they have prepared their lunch. It may not have been as fancy as the lunches I prepare, but it was edible and they seemed to enjoy what they made.
The garden is coming along splendidly, but more importantly, I feel a new sense of hope and optimism about being quarantined. I feel like I may be able to have a life, in addition to being there to support my children. I may not be able to sit with them every day, quarantined in the kitchen and family room, but they know I am here. They know that if they need me I am just a holler away.
Once they were done with their school work, I walked them around and showed them all that I had done. They (especially Garin), we're so proud of me. That felt incredible. They had gotten their work done (or at least most of it) and I had been able to get mine done as well.
So each day, we move forward in this journey. We try to learn from our mistakes - what is working and what is not. I try to go gently on myself, remembering COVID 19 is not anything that I could have prepared myself for. As is everyone else, I am trying to make my way, each day, the best I can and learn as I go. Today was a good day.
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